Some marriages get over before it could even start properly. It makes people suffer a lot but after a few months of healing the heart, one must get ready to jump back into the dating pool. Things after divorce get definitely different. For anyone jumping back into dating after a divorce — either through online dating apps or old-fashioned nights out at the bar — here are some things that you will face or feel when you date after divorce:
He might have extra baggage
After your divorce, you must be dating a mature man. It might be hard for you to realize that Saturday night dinners and Friday night happy hours may not happen because the man you will be seeing has visitation with his kids. But the hardest thing could be the weeding through a number of crazy scenarios that men threw at to figure out if was worth it or not. You have to figure out what you are willing to put up with when kids, careers, exes, personal space, etc., are all factors in the equation. You have to figure out how much trust you want to give. But those are your choices, no one else’s.
Your friends probably may get offended
When your friends are either (happily) married or have been in long-term relationships, they will not understand the new dynamics you’re facing. They won’t understand why you haven’t moved in together after a year or why you don’t talk to the person you’re seeing every day, all day. They won’t understand the balance of being right outside another person’s life and the dance you will have to do to get in it. Don’t let that discourage you. Listen to your intuition.
There will be a lot of sex
The only thing every newly divorced person wants is sex, lots of sex. Whether it’s because they weren’t getting it on the regular when they were married or because they finally feel the freedom to do what they want, there are probably more booty calls than actual dates. The trick is to know the difference between a booty call and a potential suitor. And don’t knock yourself if all you want is a little no-strings-attached booty. As long as you’re upfront and smart about it, get it out of your system.
Breakups will be less painful
You are older, wiser, and know what you can offer someone. If they don’t want it, then it’s really a shame for them. I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt at all — it does. But the bounce-back rate equates to two pints of ice cream and not 20.
You’ll get introspective
Now that you’ll be older and understand your own flaws, you will spend a bit more time evaluating how they affect both your choice in a partner as well as the dynamics of the relationship. This will make life so much easier and you’ll stop making the same mistakes, too.
You will make your own decisions
After the divorce, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Aren’t you ready to meet the family? Don’t! You are an adult and don’t need to rely on timelines or approval from anyone else but yourself.
You will finally love someone
You will. When you least expect it. Who will actually love you and make you feel that life is still so beautiful and whatever mistakes you have made are somehow worth it.