It’s very common to see a married person cheating his/her partner these days. After see such cases, which are actually high in number, one wonders what’s lacking and going wrong within the scared institution of marriage. Adultery is never accepted by the society, by family, and even by the religion. yet people throw morality and fear of god to the winds and pursue, sometimes with reckless abandon, love and lust outside of marriage. We need to re-analyse what marriage means, its role, requirements and legalities and what value it brings in today’s modern era.
Marriage was necessary if you wanted to have sex as pre-marital sex was a taboo in the society. The man was the one who use to work as being a provider and the women traditionally stayed at home and played a role of nurturer. Earlier it was necessary for having children but in today’s world, single people are adopting kids or having kids out of wedlock. With taboos lifted off pre-marital sex and women seeking money and job satisfaction outside the home, the reasons for getting married have diminished. It’s become more of a prison and less of fairy tale. Marriage for them is like getting the government involved so that the partner can’t leave.
It takes great efforts, fights, tough laws and the spouse threatening to take divorce. As a result people just choose to stay ‘stuck ‘in loveless, sexless marriages and feel justified playing the field to satisfy their desires for intimacy and caring. Children become a key reason for getting married and also for not getting divorced has additionally shaped a growing adulterous population. Financially dependent women don’t have the courage to leave their flirt husbands; they live in emotional pain and have their own indiscretions for the sake of their children. One may mockingly say that an adulterous man is having the best of both worlds, it can’t be a good feeling for him either to be sneaking around in fear of being caught, and seeing pain, suspicion and sadness is his wife’s eyes every time there is a whiff of it.
This prison like ambience and court processes need to change and swift effectively. We need to reinvent this to not see it as an obsolete and a trap. People should be able to gracefully exit what’s not working and we should empower adultery to become acceptable fantasy.