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Ohh that butt!

How many times have you lied to your girlfriend about her big fat ass or a skinny flat one? When she tells you to check out her butt in a particular dress to which you always reply “it’s perfect baby” Even if her butt looks big enough to cause a lunar eclipse or flat enough to make you think twice if there’s any butt in there.

But men can’t help lying, can they? They know from bitter experience that the truth will cost them their head!

With evolution men, folk has learned that she doesn’t mean what she says. Of course, she knows the truth! She has a mirror, a measuring tape and a pair of jeans that drops down or doesn’t fit her anymore. What she really wants to know is – Darling, do you love me, despite my big bum! Do you still think she’s the goddess, she once was?

It’s never about the Ass!

Women have it bad. Imagine the torture of seeing your man gorge on scoops of ice creams with a fit body while you chew on multigrain biscuits. We also love to eat but we rather starve. We fold ourselves in half in yoga class; huff and puff on the treadmill yet the weighing needle refuse to budge. You fantasize about fitness, day and night. You agonize over your dilemma – should I – should I not? And there comes a day when you cannot take it anymore and succumb. As you sink your teeth in that delicious chunk of gooey chocolate cake, you sigh. Gosh! This feels so good. But your mind is screaming – Stop! Run! There’s still time! But you can’t and before you realize it, you have gobbled up three slices. You lick your lips and let out a small burp.

And the worst part about the posterior is it depends on whether you are an orange, an apple or pear. Fat spreads itself evenly in an orange, just like a well-buttered toast. If you are an apple, it makes you a 38D and you have to bear with men having an intense conversation with your boobs. And the pear is just about to bid adieu to the fatty deposits, till those pesky things discover her bum.

Imagine being compared to a fruit! And to add insult to injury is that skinny friend of yours, who eats like a horse and looks like a French bean. But trust me she has her own problems of being that skinny. No butt pisses skinny people AF!
And you thought it’s every girl’s dream to find the perfect guy. Bullshit!

It’s that fucking butt which is never perfect!

Mira is a budding columnist and blogger who has turned her interest of designing and creativity into an entire career. Mira is a sagacious and with her witty writing, beautiful photography and snippets, be it homeware or travel, her adventures will keep you going for more

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Urban Mira is a sagacious and with her witty writing, beautiful photography and snippets, be it homeware or travel, her adventures will keep you going for more

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