It’s essential to visit a gynecologist before the D-day to know and understand one’s body as you begin interacting with others. Most of the time we are not even aware of our body and how it functions, but this is really very very important
These are some real questions that almost all the girls think before her big day and are too afraid to ask, but why? Let’s be realistic guys! Here’s a list of questions you might find rather stressful to ask your gynecologist (BUT YOU SHOULD!!!) It’s your body and you should always be fully informed.
- What if I/my partner have had premarital sex with someone else? What are the things to keep in mind?
Pre-marital sex is common, it’s good practice for you and your partner to be honest and open. If you or your partner have had partners in the past, it’s good to be tested for STDs. Often one assumes there is no need but these symptoms can be dormant for a while before coming up.
- My periods are clashing with my honeymoon dates. Now what?
Some girls like to not have their period during the wedding or during their honeymoon. Meet your gynac at least a month or 2 prior to your wedding, and express this to her. There are ways to change your period date through prescribed medication. The doctor will be able to help you with all information including side effects if any.
- How many times is a week considered to be a healthy sex life?
Every couple is different and there is no fixed rule. More, or less, it’s up to you. However, having sex regularly helps to have a positive married life.
- What is the hygiene guide that I must follow once I start having regular sexual intercourse?
This is incredibly important. Most women post marriage as they get into the rhythm of regular sexual intercourse are unaware of the need to maintain hygiene ‘down there’ Simple stuff but do it. Rinse well, stay clean (and dry), trim and keep yourself generally groomed. Keep yourself hydrated.
- Is it true that having sexual intercourse for the first time tends to be painful?
It may hurt, yes. But it is important for you and your partner to make things comfortable for each other. It’s important to open and honestly communicate.
- Is bleeding an essential sign of virginity?
Every woman and her body are different. Not everyone bleeds when they have sexual intercourse for the first time. Some girls break their hymen while playing sports etc. during their teenage years as well. There is NO such rule.
- What are the types of birth control methods available?
Firstly, there’s the barrier method i.e. using a condom. Generally, men wear condoms however female condoms are available in the market. There is also the option of placing an IUD where a coil is placed in the uterus preventing pregnancy.
The next option is going on a birth control pill. What this does is that it adjusts your hormones in a manner that does not allow the egg to get released and fertilized, hence preventing pregnancy. BOTH methods are completely safe (modern science has come a LONG way!!!) The ‘pill’ needs to be taken very regularly – you cannot skip a dose.
The morning after pills / i-pills / emergency contraceptives are NOT a birth control method and should only is used in an emergency situation. Taking more than 2-3 iPills in a year can permanently damage your system.
- Are there any changes in the body after I get married? I have heard that a lot of girls go through hormonal changes after marriage, is this something to be worried about?
Unless you have been very sexually active before marriage, you will see some differences. This is because your body is not used to the hormonal secretions resulting from having regular sexual intercourse. It is all normal and will eventually stabilize.
- Should I get any tests like pap smear was done?
It’s a must to get these tests done.
- What if I want to get an abortion? What is the process?
If the pregnancy is unplanned and unwanted, and you wish to terminate, you can opt for an abortion in India – it is legal. You need to consult with a gynac and ensure it is done safely without damaging your body. Medical abortion is easy, safe and quick. It can be done either orally (through medicines) or surgically. It is also not an expensive process. You must NOT opt for home remedies or home methods of abortion as they can be harmful and unsafe.
- What are the health side effects of birth control methods?
Condoms are extremely safe to use. There are various myths around the use of condoms, their materials being ‘impure’/’non-vegetarian’ and all sorts of talk. However, it’s all untrue. Unless you have a very specific allergy, they are 100% safe.
Hormonal pills have some side effects such as irregular periods, nausea, breast tenderness, mood swings, weight gain etc.
- Is there anything like female condoms? If so, is it healthy to use?
Yes, there are many and they are great to prevent both pregnancy and STDs.
- Is it safe to have sex during periods? If one has sex during their periods, can I avoid getting pregnant?
There is a risk of infection if you do have sex during this time in case there is a virus in your menstrual blood, but otherwise, it’s safe (but probably a bit inconvenient…) however, there is no guarantee that you will not get pregnant.
- What if I want to get pregnant? What is the process?
Well, you got to have sexual intercourse. This means penetrative, vaginal sex (not oral sex or any other kind) you cannot get pregnant from simply being sexually intimate. The penis must penetrate the vagina and the semen is to be deposited inside. You must not be on any birth control/not use a condom in that case. There are certain days in the month when you are ‘ovulating’ To determine these, speak to your gynecologist/track your menstrual cycle using an app. On these days in the month, you are most likely to get pregnant since the egg has been released so it’s good to schedule sexual intercourse with your husband on those days. Keeping healthy, exercising, having vitamin rich foods etc is also really important if you and your husband are trying.
- What is the right time to conceive? How many days before/after my period?
The best time to conceive a baby is ‘whenever you are ready to take this full-time duty of being 2+1 wholeheartedly’. There is NO OTHER RULE. So yes, all the aunties telling you ‘need to have kids after a year of marriage’ are just fibbing.