When someone dumps you, how do you feel? Just as if someone stabbed you all over your body and then left you bleeding on the floor. And then your ex-says, ‘We can be FRIENDS!’ so what’s next? Obliviously, miss them! But do it the right way.
This is how you can really miss someone and make your life so much more miserable.
Stay alone, Lock yourself.
Isolate yourself from the world. Because who needs to hang out with friends and get over a breakup. You can spend the same time doing so many other things. Like you know, think about the ex.
Let everything remind you of them. Like EVERYTHING.
Like he uses to eat this, this was the place where we went on a date for the first time etc etc etc!
Read past chats again and again.
Memorize your chat history like the back of your hand. Read it again. Then some more and yet again, Past is such a nice place to live in. Such pain much wow.
And of course, go to work. And write articles only about your misery.
Check on how many times they come online.
Stare at their WhatsApp window, and keep a count of how many times they come online. They are totally talking to their new soul mate, moving on, not thinking about you.
Think totally negative.
Think of them with that someone new, probably canoodling together, while you sit licking your wounds and missing them. After this, lose your shit, of course.
See old pictures of good times.
Just stare at their pictures. All day long, memorize their frigging face like your dream job depends on it! There are competitive exams that you can ace at with that knowledge you know.
Manage to go out on a date to forget the ex. Start every sentence with “My ex-used to…”
As if you concentrate hard enough, they will materialize there.
Lie on the bed and hope that the ceiling falls on you.
Be in an imaginary world with them.
Imagine countless scenarios where you will run into them and you will be so fabulous than that they will leave whoever they are with at that point and come back to you.
Sad songs are for you.
Listen to Channa Mereya on loop. And cry. Imagine yourself being at their wedding and walking away.
Get fired by your therapist.
Whose marriage is now in trouble ’cause she spends all her time listening to stories about how cute your ex-looked when he ate Cholley Bhature.
Stop bathing, because you don’t want to get their smell off your body.
No going out.
Don’t go out. Don’t even make plans. Revolve your schedule around your misery.
Cry over calls.
But when your best friend calls, eat their head off with all the ex-talk, till they pack up and move to Mars.
Open yourself up to new people.
And pray to the almighty that you don’t have to start the whole damn thing all over again. And breathe. BREATHE.
You will always love them in some way or the other. Something will always remind you of them no matter how many years have passed, and that’s fine. Really! So does your thing, cry your eyes out, and grieve. And then get up and start getting better.