All the smart women who talk and truly walk the talk have already discussed the major concerns like feminism, equality, education, society talks etc. So, with all the important stuff taken care of, I wish for the smaller things to be invented for all the women out there. Kindly pay heed.
- Sanitary napkins with vibrating alarm: Okayyy! Maybe not vibrators but an alarm that connects with our Smartphone to warn us of ‘forthcoming overflow’ to save us from the hundred trips to the washroom for ‘Just to check”.
- Convertible high heels: Heels which also turn into flats with just one button, what else we want? Like converting the heels into flats when walking across the husky paths and long hotel corridors and converting them back to heels while entering the party. No pain, No bandage, No swollen ankles. Ahhhh such a relief!
- A buzz to spy Mother-in-law: For the multiple alerts whenever she is near your house so that you can make a quick exit to avoid her multiple questions and espionage. Also, an escape from “Yes Mummyji’, ‘Right Mummyji’, ‘You’re right Mummyji’.
- Pens with inbuilt darts: Whenever men talk over you, drowning out your views, or down to you point this pen with a tiny tranquilizer dart discretely flying out across the table and sticking them in the neck causing an immediate allergic reaction with itchy hives where you can always smile sweetly and say, ‘You know that looks like a nasty autoimmune disorder, are you sure you are not allergic to your own bullshit?’
- A laser with a magnifying glass: With the use of greatest technology, a device for spotting and destroying the tiniest hair that has the audacity to sprout overnight on the chin or upper lip. What a razor away life!
- A lying weighing machine: Just small white lies, like a kilo or two here and there. Just for real happiness. Not big ones where you wonder if you have left Earth and are now under the moon’s gravitational pull.
- A camera with an inbuilt projector embedded in the retina: For men whenever they say that they have absolutely no recollection of agreeing to a particular thing. This blanket statement must cover everything like from going to doctor, visiting relatives, going to movies and everything. Just turn your steely gaze to a blank wall and replay that particular recorded incident with the date and time as irrevocable proof.
- A pair of extra arms to attach to your own original ones: An absolute must for the hours in the evening after coming back from work and before going to bed. With this invention, multitasking would be a painless, effortless and less hectic. From cooking to son’s project, his teaching, household things, preparation for morning and what not. After a while, you may wonder how you even did it all earlier with just two arms.
- A pill to chill: While writing this I realized that while all the other gadgets and inventions would be wondering what we first need is something that cures guilt. Ladies be so busy being mothers, daughters, sisters, and wives that they hardly spend time on themselves.
So, I propose a pill made in the laboratory of our minds that get rid of that nagging voice in the head caused by years of conditioning. Women are capable of juggling multiple balls in the air, but perhaps it’s time to drop the one marked guilt.